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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Choose your Weapon Catapults or Peashooters.

When i was growing up, I just as much as any kid had a lot of devilment just bursting with enthusiasm to get out and create mayhem. Although I lived 10 or so miles outside of Belfast I spent the majority of my school holidays and weekends doing just that around the Belfast streets. At this time East Belfast was involved in a substantial redevelopement programme which meant that this left a lot of old and a lot of new very empty houses. To my cousin and I this was an adventure playground and one that gave us hours of fun. My cousin and I would make catapults out of the old bed springs that people had left in the old houses which I would use to terrorize the local builders by stinging the arse off them with a rusty staple while they mixed concrete, "sorry mister concrete mixer if your reading this, but some ass's are made for dancing and some are made for stinging". When you think about it, our daily news is riddled with paragraph after paragraph of how some of todays kids are arrested for being in possession of guns, knives and hammers which they are prepared to use or have used in horrific acts of violence. What has society come to. Peashooters were the favoured choice of the spotty teenage assassin when I was at school. Now its a rusty breadknife. The only time I had a knife in my hand was when I was threatening to do the toast with the jam. "I tell a wee white lie there but thats another story altogether". Anyway as I was saying before I went off on one about the kids of today. I was at home happily breaking the windows of the local school with my new very high velocity catapult(black widow) when the school caretaker spotted me. Bollocks I thought and done a runner. Not only did I do a runner but I managed to get away, that was right up to the point when my oldest sister told the caretaker it was me and that I was hiding in the house. who needs a supergrass when you've got a willing sister. I deserved it and I forgive her but it does'nt keep me awake at night. I decided to put the catapult to rest because when I was using it to shoot the local wildlife ie, the flock of our neighbours homing pigeons the rubber snapped and gave me a smack in the mouth that Tyson would be proud of, I can still see the pigeons smiling about that one.

2 Comments:

Blogger katy said...

glad i got an arse thats made for dancing, well some would querry that one! love the blog

9:26 pm  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

the pigeons sabotaged it while you were asleep. crafty buggers are pigeons.

10:04 am  

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