LONG TIME NO SEA

It has been so long since I posted anything on this blog that I almost forgot I had it running. Well to be honest not much has changed since I last posted, well apart from I've done a lot of time away at sea,(so I missed last Christmas) changed my motor bike into a faster one(Yamaha R1 for those of you who know what I'm talking about), spent 2 weeks in Florida getting the soles of my feet fried, moved ashore to a new job and married my lovely woman. The latter happened on my birthday, shrude move on the wife's part so I wouldn't forget the date don't you think? I am terrible with dates but I think many men are the same. Or maybe it's a ploy on our part to lead you girlies into thinking our lives would fall down around our asses if we didn't have you around to keep us on the straiight and narrow. I'd hate to think my Mrs loved me because of my inability to memorise a bloody calender.

I hope you all have had a easy time while I have been away spending my time beneath the deep blue, but as the old saying goes "That's the way it is Jack", I can't really complain. My new job is an instructors position working just 7 miles away from my home and I am enjoying imparting my knowledge onto those who keep us safe by delivering britain's nuclear capability while we sleep sound with our loved one's or even one you've just picked up from the pub for that matter. For those of you who teach/instruct will know what I mean when I say that to see poeple developing and using the skills you have taught them to better themselves is quite rewarding. I will attempt to keep you all posted on what I'm up to and I will try and read more of yours.
Take Great Care.

MID LIFE CRISIS,"WHO CARES AS LONG AS IT BRINGS A SMILE TO YOUR FACE".

And believe me, she does just that, and so does my ZZR.

A PASSAGE IN HISTORY

This is one of the many murals that adorn some of the gables where I spent my childhood in the West Winds Estate. I can only hope peace will remain in the hearts of the people of Northern Ireland for now and for always.

IRISH Contemporary Fashion Designers change the face of ULSTER'S terrorism.

"The new look of the Protestant Paramilitaries just doesn't have the same frightening impact that it once had".

"THE IRISH ROAD WORKER"

"My neighbour has been trying to dig up his drive way for the last 6 months".

YOU'VE GOT TEN MINUTES.


Raleigh has changed so much over the years. I have spent many days back there over the years doing various courses and it has taken on a different way of teaching new recruits. When I was there it was harsh, just as you would expect military training to be, now it seems to be a little more pink and fluffy. I watched a Phys training session and thought it was easy in comparison to what it used to be. I was quite fit before I got to Raleigh so it was n't a great problem, what I had a problem with is heights. I think the forces are concerned they wont keep the people in if they treat them with anything less than kid gloves, when in reality the enemy wont.

I remember coming off the Parade ground one beautiful summers day and as we were marching up towards our block you could see blankets, sheets and pillows hanging from the windows about 3 floors up and strewn around the bushes below. We had cleanliness rounds in the morning just as we had always done but this time they went to town on us. Bedding was everywhere. You do everything by the clock when you join up because thats the easiest way of applying pressure. We couldn't collect it all and tidy the place and be at our next class in the time we had.
"Get it fucking squared away and get to your next class, you've got 10 mins. Re-scrub tonight at 2000, if it hasn't improved you'll do it again at 2100".
Im sure that instructor's watches only had ten fucking minutes on them cos that's the max they ever give us.

All in all Raleigh wasn't that bad but I was glad to get away from the place. Next stop Submarine training at HMS DOLPHIN in Gosport, Portsmouth which was the birth place of the Submarine.

"PAARRADE, HO"

(The photo is "Passing Out" at HMS RALEIGH or "Passing In" as they now call it.)

Part One Basic training at Raleigh was an utter ball ache. Day 2 Rise and Shine to the clatter of a spittoon getting hurled down the polished floors. "Right you fucking lot you've got 30 mins to get shit, showered, shaved, dressed and fell in for your inductions". "Well fucking move it then". We fell in and were marched down for our hair cuts. My instructor said to me, "Oi Paddy do you wanna keep those locks of yours"? "Yes thanks". "Well take a fucking plastic bag with you" he said. Wanker! I suppose I did bring it apon myself as my hair was fairly lenghty sitting on my shoulders.

The training staff were all being relatively nice, up to a point. That point happened to be when you signed the dotted line for 22 years at the end of day 2. The ink hadn't even dried on your Official Secrets act when the bollockings began. These bollockings were all in the name of "character building". Mind you no-one could give a face melting man's bollocking or with as much humour like the PTI's.

I remember one of the days in the Gym when one of the lads scratched his nuts when we were told to stand still. The Duty PTI was a female LPTI, She shouted, "Did you ask me permission to scratch your nuts"? "No staff" "That' fucking right, No"! Well while your scratching your nuts the rest of your class mates can do grid sprints till I tell you to stop scratching your nuts, hows that"? "Yes staff". Grrrreat! Theres nothing like doing more Phys for someone else's ball's-up. If nothing else it teaches you a little teamwork.

Drill training is a drain on your mind. What can be difficult about walking in a straight line as a squad? Christ!, when you haven't done it before it's a nightmare. It's so infurriating when you balls it up. The Drill Instructors would call out the step: "Left...... Left......,Left Right Left, I said Fucking left lofty how fucking stupid are you that you dont know your left from right"?

"SQUAD HALT"! "Right every fucking one of you when I tell you, you are to run back to your mess and paint an "L" on the toe of your left boot and an "R" on the toe your right boot using plimsole whitener and you are to be back here fell in and switched on for Drill in 10 minutes. "DO NOT LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND........STANDBY.......GO".

Trust me 10 mins isn't long when you've got to run 400 yards to your block and wait in turn to paint your boots with whitener when you only have 4 pots to go round 30 of us and get back to the parade ground as a squad, but they knew that.

We must've been good that day because we finished drill early or at least early enough to do a few laps around the parade ground with our SLR at high port arms, all in the name of character building of course.

R.I.P PEPSI

I was chatting to my Wee Sister yesterday and she told me that my Mum's wee westie Pepsi had died. As far as I am aware there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Pepsi was 16 years old and when I seen her last which was a few months ago she needed glasses more than I did and her mobility had all but left her. I remember when she arrived all those years ago, she looked like a busted pillow, all white and fluffy. Well, she'll be biting the balls off gods postie now,"BooHoo".

You Only Get What You Really Want In Dreams.

You know when I joined the Navy the last thing on my mind was being onboard a Submarine. As far as I was concerned I was joining to be a Diver on a Ship and sail around the world in several different directions. A girl in every Port, you know the stereo typical sailor thing we are acustom to on the TV. My career thus far has never resembled what I dreamed it would be as a boy in Belfast.

I, as I have explained previously was always gona join the Navy. When I left home I was sixteen and my Dad was serving the rest of his 3 year sentence in the Crumlin Road Jail,(Now closed down) and my Mum was at home with my 2 sisters.

When my joining up papers arrived I travelled to Aldergrove Airport where I would fly to London and from there I would get the train to Plymouth. I had only ever been on a Ferry to Scotland for a day trip before this so I was apprehensive(Shitting myself) to say the least. I had worked in the Youth Training Scheme for a few months as a joiner between leaving school and joining up in the July of 86 and what money I saved I had in my pocket. I had all the kit I was told to have in a big bag which at the time felt like the weight of a small car over my shoulder.

I eventually arrived in Plymouth where It was apparent that I was one of many young lads who had made the similar journey to an unknown destiny. We were all rounded up by a burly Petty Officer and his Leading Regulator(Service Police) who were both dressed in full No1 uniform with the exception of medals. They said very little apart from bark out our names and herd us onboard a couple of coaches outside.

We drove to HMS RALEIGH which was to be my home for the next 3 months. The first evening we were shown our kit, or at least some of it. My bed which was adorned by those blankets that are used to intimidate POW into submission by itching the skin off their bodies was in the middle of a 30 man mess of Ganges Block(New Entry Division) and the whole place smelled of leather and boot polish. After a restless night we were woken up by our New Entry instructor shouting "Hands off cocks and onto Socks" as he walked the aisle pulling our bedding off our bodies. The thought of, "what the hell have I got myself into crossed my mind.

GROW OLD GRACEFULLY? NEVER! NOT WHILE I CAN STILL TAKE A PISS ON MY OWN.

"I went to the Opticians the other day and you know who I bumped into? Bloody Everybody"

I am no longer the man I once was or at least my eyesight isn't. The other day I went and had my eyes tested and was told I needed glasses to read. I personally put it down to the many years spent in the little dark rooms of Submarines searching for the RED THREAT.

I see this as another notch on the bed post of getting older and I don't like it. Before you know it gravity will be taking over and my stomach will be heading south, "Oh it is", maybe my eyesight is worse than I thought. I pick up my glasses shortly and they better be the dogs bollocks because they have cost an arm and a leg.

To be honest I really can't complain because after what I have put my body through in the last 21 years in the Navy I'm surprised there's not a multitude of other things wrong.

I must go now and pick up one of the Kids but if you see me around town please shout don't just wave.